Not asking hurts everybody
It was a tiring long day after doing payroll for over a few hundred people, and just when I thought I was finished, my boss told me an important detail that basically forced me to start all over again.
I thought about quitting on the spot. If this detail was so important, why couldn’t you tell me from the beginning? This wasn’t a new manager — they have been doing this for decades already. The worst part was how unapologetic they were. It was an “oops, forgot to mention that. Here you go, fix it”.
I was foolish to not quit on the spot and stayed to complete my work. This type of treatment continued on and I should’ve trusted my instincts once they showed me how they acted during a stressful or critical moment.
But the biggest takeaway was that I wasn’t proactive enough to ask the questions beforehand. For important projects, I need to learn as much as I can and wring out all of the details that could make or break the project. If anything, limit any high-impact variables.
Not asking caused me to lose all care for the job and it went downhill from there.
What if you don’t know?
My biggest complaint was (probably still is) if I don’t know, how do I know what questions to ask? It’s a legitimate question because if you don’t know where to go, how do you start?
The most annoying answer was “If you didn’t know, why didn’t you ask”? Truly a dilemma that frustrates everyone involved. I used to think that if you’re the boss or manager, it was your responsibility to make sure your team understands what you’re trying to have them do.
Nothing is more frustrating than to enter a meeting and leave more confused. When people are confused, and you’re ambiguous about the expectations and goals, they will fill it in themselves and that leads to outcomes and behaviors that you wouldn’t like.
But leaving up to your boss means you’re allowing things up to chance. You’re depending on your boss to have great communication and care to always support you. You won’t always get that. It’s better to take it upon yourself to find the information that you’re looking for.
In my experience, it’s always helpful to start general and then hone in on the specifics. This is an easy way to navigate when you don’t know. Focus on the most important things first.
If I’m lost after a meeting, I will ask my boss or sum up what I think is the most important details and ask for clarification. Then more follow-up questions on the little details. I need to understand the pathway that I’m taking and confirm that it’s the accurate one.
It’s annoying to start a path only to find out you have to backtrack because it was the wrong one.
Why and how questions are great but don’t forget about the what questions. Simply asking what is our primary objective can save you a lot of time.
Wrong once mentality
I get a lot of things wrong and often look stupid asking rhetorical questions. But the best part is that I only look stupid when it doesn’t matter. If I’m working on a multi-million dollar project, my boss and clients won’t care if I’m wrong when nothing is at stake. They’ll definitely care if I mess up when money and time are on the podium.
It’s best to reject your ego in these situations as you’re trying to find information. Your goal is to succeed and to leave any uncertainties and confusion remaining is not a great idea.
Not only does this serve as a guideline for greater success, but it also shows your team and boss that you’re someone who wants to get things right.
Take advantage of this especially as you’re younger and upcoming. No one cares that the young person is asking dumb questions and making mistakes. Unfortunately, experience people think they’re too good for that and it often leads to greater setbacks.
You’re never too good or experienced to do what it takes for you to succeed. It’s like LeBron James thinking he’s entitled not to ask questions to get better since he’s been in the NBA for over 20 years. He has every right to take it easy since he has earned it. But if you want to be great, you’ll continue to ask questions to get better.
Avoid the bias if thinking you’re bigger than the situation. It’ll humble you with lasting consequences.
Proactiveness
This article feels like you have to do everything and assume that your bosses are inept. It may feel that way, but the purpose is to ensure that you do everything you can so you can control what you can control. To ensure that you do your absolute best.
If you do get the help, that’s great, but don’t get caught being comfortable until you get all the necessary information.
Proactiveness serves another role in which it gets you in the mindset of thinking about things. Instead of waiting for someone to tell you what to do, the thought process has already started.
You’ll start thinking about what you need or want, or if something goes wrong, what’s the action plan? This not only prepares you but also shows others that you have been taking initiative. Reputation goes a long way, and if you develop that proactive reputation, you’ll be trusted with better projects and relationships.
Even outside of work, start thinking about your hobbies and your friends. If their birthday is coming up, we can send something small to them that’s personal and customizable.
The law of doing a little more than average goes a long way. Plus it never hurts to show your friends that you care about them.
Develop a skill regardless
I can’t sit here and tell you to sit quiet and be proactive in a crappy situation. No one is telling you to stay in an environment where you’re always stressed out.
But do take any opportunity to build the skill of asking and thinking about things. Do it for future you, and continue to hone this skill as it is transitive throughout your entire life.
Don’t get stuck getting frustrated and annoyed, you can do something. Start with asking.
Check out my last article on Only fun when you’re good at it*
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