Why fail?
Lessons are best learned whenever we’ve failed at something. It’s memorable because of the emotions we’ve attached to that event or memory. It’s like putting your hand on a hot stove, you remember to not do it again because of the pain associated. What if we took that lesson and applied it proactively? What if, instead of waiting for these lessons to happen to us, we go and seek them out.
I know what you’re thinking.. maybe. If you seek out failure then, aren’t you just setting yourself up for.. failure? That’s exactly the point! Why wait to learn these lessons when you can learn them sooner. A key component is timing. If you can fail and learn while not taking on lots of risk, why won’t you? If there aren’t any adverse affects if you fail, then it’s better to learn it now. Fail when you can, and then when you can’t afford to fail, you have prior experience to rely on.
Of course, we can push it back and tell ourselves we’ll be ready when it happens. But in reality, will we? if put in stressful situation, are we certain that we can think with a clear head and make quick decisions? When’s the last time you’ve experienced something for the first time that was stressful and it went smoothly for you? I’d like to bet it was a low probability or luck if it did went well. In fact, the more stress and high risk something will be, the more so you should look for ways to fail safely and learn from those lessons.
Examples of why to fail
You can take a look at a few real world examples: preparing to take a standardize test, airlines workers preparing for an emergency, security teams training for worst case scenarios, and so on.
If you’ve ever did a standardize test, it’s easy to see why it’s difficult for many, especially if you didn’t prepare for it. Three to four hours, little breaks, limited time per section, lots of material, and the sounds of pencil scribbling away. You’re left mentally and physically drain after these exams. The students that do well start months ahead. Not only because there are lots of things to study, but the crucial part is taking practice exams. The more practice exams you do, the more you can replicate that same setting on the actual day. You’ll start to understand pacing, timing, and the stress of sitting down for hours and focusing. As you do more practice exams, you’ll get more comfortable with this “stress” and will be able to perform optimally when it’s time for the real thing.
Here’s a good video on Ted about top students:
The same goes with airlines and how they prepared for emergencies. Very rare do emergencies happen but can you imagine a few hundred people freaking out, it’ll be utter chaos. Workers need to go through rigorous training on what to do, how to react, and stop the “fire” so everything can progress without interference. The only way to do that is to put these workers through those stressful situations. Better to flush out any bad habits, concerns, questions when the situation doesn’t have any high risk then to wait for when it does. If people see that you are calm and orderly, they will have high trust in you than if they see you freaking out as well.
Here’s a good article and video on how Delta trains their employees:
https://www.businessinsider.com/how-flight-attendants-are-trained-for-emergency-situations-2020-3
Self Application
Let’s apply it to our lives as well. While we may not have to take tests or be in life or death situations, we can still practice seeking out failure. The challenging part is overcoming your ego and what others might think of you. It’s easy to show people that you’re successful and you’re doing well, but the only way to get there is a lot of failing. Luckily, failing leads to learning. Just make sure that you find an adequate way to fail without extreme dire consequences. There always needs to be some type of gain whenever you fail. You probably don’t want the consequences to dwarf the benefits.
One easy way that I’ve started implementing failure is to roleplay. Whether it’s for giving a speech, negotiating for a higher salary, interviews or overcoming awkward conversations. I find it best when you record yourself or do it with a friend/family member. Yes, you will cringe watching yourself screw up, but you’ll move on. Then you’ll see areas in which you’re weak and strong at. The floodgates of improvement will come if you keep at it. The goal is to make all the mistakes you can and improve enough to well for your objectives.
The only failure is accepting failure.
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