You only have a finite number left
Have you ever got a satisfactory answer for the question of “what’s the meaning of life”? Is it finding something you’re passionate in and chasing that? It’s a bit broad and general, but I think it points us in the right direction. Of course, your answer will change depending on the experiences and life you’ve led and it’ll continue to be modify as the years pass. I’ve been thinking about how life comes down to a bunch of decisions you make repeatedly with a finite count, and determining if those choices are worth repeating.
When you think of the things you enjoy doing or things you want to considered enjoyable, look at it through a finite lens. The rule is knowing you only have so many sessions of that activity left, and by knowing that, is it still worth doing over and over again? Like many principles, easy to read and hard to implement.
How do you know if it’s worth it?
A good way to test whether you like it or not is to take it away completely and see your response to it. You always hear people say money doesn’t equal happiness, but take away the money that buys all of their comforts and I don’t think that statement holds true. Basically, you don’t know what you got until it’s gone. Sure, there might be a threshold for happiness and the amount of money you make, and after a certain point, happiness will peak. This means a minimum standard must be met for you to even reach your peak. If you take something away and it doesn’t affect the status quo, perhaps it’s something that can be replaced or modified.
Just think about something that you’ve accustomed to and wonder what would happen if it was gone. If you say your phone, I’m willing to bet it’s unsustainable since you need it to contact your friends or family, perhaps even conduct business with it. However, if you say social media, that feels doable and perhaps beneficial to rid yourself of unnecessary distractions. But as you can see, these are mostly in the grey area. Perhaps if we pinpoint to areas where there’s a clear difference, then we can eliminate it and use that free space for someone that’s worth it.
In my early childhood, you couldn’t wrestle a can of coke away from me—it was a daily thing to drink a can a day. I remembered instinctively getting up at 5 pm from my naps to drink a can. I was definitely not the healthiest kid growing up. Fast forward a few years and I’m playing basketball for my school and I kept getting stomach aches which made it hard to keep up with the other kids. Subsequently, this forced the coach to limit my playing time. I stood between crossroads between wanting to play basketball versus enjoying my pastime of coke. I realized the pain of not playing basketball outweigh my love for coke, and I dropped it from my life.
This story lets me know that perhaps the emotional damage I would get from something “good” is a strong enough catalyst to drop something “bad”. Good or bad can be challenging to define. Good things make us feel good right? Vice versa for bad. But many good things don’t make you feel good immediately, in fact, they make you feel terrible and crappy. You don’t see or feel the gain until later, and sometimes that takes years. The bad things can feel good almost immediately, and you won’t see or feel the damages until later, and sometimes that takes years.
Working out will leave you tired and sore for a few days, but you’ll feel stronger and better once you’ve recovered. Caffeine makes you alert and focused immediately, and then it causes you to crash later.
So it seems that you should focus on doing tough things that may suck now, but will reward you later right? That’s not a bad idea, and it’ll definitely teach you humility and patience among many things. It’s just like having two legs to help us balance, you need the right amount or things get bad. Imagine toughing it out and hopping on one leg because you want to reap the rewards of a stronger leg later. Eventually you’ll create muscle instability on one leg and it’ll have an inverse effect. The discipline you have with “good” things allows you to have an allowance for the “bad” things.
I’d argued for “good” things to be things that are worth it. Whether it’s a skill to master or a discipline to be honed. If it requires consistent hard work while challenging you, it’s worth doing. These things allow you to reach your goals, or at least give you the opportunity to attempt at greater and better things. Just as time is finite, opportunities are also finite. We need to be prepare for when those opportunities pop up and seize it.
The conundrum of finite
Thus comes the junk part of a finite life— it ends. So knowing that, we only have so much time, energy, and resources to do things. To get really adept at those things is a completely different story.
I’d argued to get good at those things, the number of things you can do is now even more limited. Perhaps we can even say that out of all the things you choose to get good at, most of those things are connected or similar to each other so that you’re not starting off from scratch.
For example, a guitar player might have a better chance at getting good at playing the bass versus the oboe. Or if you play the violin, the viola or other string instruments might be easier to master versus playing the drums. It’s not saying you can’t, but if your goal is to get really good at something, time is finite and you can only do so much.
However, if we choose skills that complement each other, they will synergise and you’ll exponentially get better or be at a great advantage. Just think about engineers of a product that have the ability to communicate and sell. Now you’re unique because you know the in and outs of a product and be able to make money off that product by selling it to consumers. You’ll know exactly what to pinpoint when selling and you’ll have the knowledge to back it up. These unique skill sets allow you to negotiate a higher wage and make you irreplaceable.
Choose wisely
So now that we know time is finite, and that we have to choose the right skillet to maximize our time, that’s all we should focus on right? I’d say go for it if it makes you happy. But consider mixing in a few that rewards you professionally and personally.
There are some people that are satisfied with just mastering one skill, and there are others that need multiple things to feel the same way. If we end up doing too much, the chances of getting great at them will be low. But the variable which must be constant is our happiness.
Sometimes you can’t choose certain parts of life where it’ll make you miserable, so either you change your environment or change your thinking. The former is easier to do for most of us. Don’t like the working in a cubicle? There are many jobs that allow you to be outdoors. In a way, we are making it easier for ourselves to navigate when we remove the thing causing us misery.
For those that can’t change your environment, perhaps changing the way you view things may be the answer. Maybe your job sucks and all you do is data entry and file papers all day. You can turn it into a game where you time yourself for how fast you can type, inadvertently gaining a skill. Nothing has change except your perspective on it.
Sometimes you can’t change jobs and you need this one in order to help your family and feed yourself. If you can figure out a way to make it fun and include other people in it, the misery goes lower. I think about the time one of my military friends and their brigade had to track through 20 miles of the freezing cold lands of Alaska. They were carrying 30 lbs on their back, and hip deep in snow. It was miserable. But they turn it into a race between different groups and see who would finish first. It now became an activity of camaraderie and fun. Suffering by yourself sucks, but suffering with others isn’t too bad.
Whether you’re in certain circumstances where you get to pick or don’t, remember that time is ticking. It’s always a better choice to make the best of what you got with the time remaining. You’ll look back and won’t think about the hard times, you’ll more likely remember all of the opportunities wasted. More importantly, the time wasted. But the best thing is that you can always choose now to do something about it.
*Check out my last article on a leopard never changes its spots*
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