Networking kinda sucks when you're younger
I was fortunate to be invited to an old college business club meeting where alumni and new members could interact and network. I had a great time connecting with alumni and seeing how we can help each other out with current projects we’re working on. For example, I had a program for teens that focused on community service, and I just happened to connect with the director of one of the biggest non-profits in the state.
As for the new students, it was still great to talk with them and hear about their aspirations but the truth of it all was how one-sided everything was. Almost the entire conversation led to how it could help them.
Perhaps it was a selfish reason, but you want a mutually beneficial relationship when you network. Even as I was young, I went through the same thing and felt awful because I couldn’t offer as much to them.
I believe the key is to refine a skill that they can’t do or to connect them with people or services that can help them.
Skill and time
Unless you’ve been tinkering with a skill since you’re young, it’s unlikely that you’ll be an expert at something. I’m such a believer in fostering and starting as early as possible. The years you get to make mistakes, learn from them, and take risks are invaluable. So much that it’ll put you way ahead of your peers.
But if you’re anything like me in college, you only have time and energy to spend. Unfortunately, professionals seldom need that — they’d prefer someone who can help solve problems or connect them to someone who can.
I did have success volunteering time and energy towards community services that my mentors are passionate about. I didn’t gain much skill doing it and it was a lot of grunt work. It was still great to support people and eventually, that led to more opportunities.
If you don’t have any skills, start finding out where people need energy and time, and help them out with that. Little acts like that go a long way, and you’re trying to build relationships and trust. Build a dependable reputation and do the dirty work if you need to.
During this time, it’s also a good idea to start spending time developing skills that people might need.
In my case, I didn’t do any of that and relied on just offering effort and time. This was foolish because I couldn’t capitalize on opportunities that required skills. I basically branded myself as the “grunt work guy”. Thus, lots of technical opportunities weren’t accessible.
For the last few years, I’ve learned that many people don’t want to give speeches or write out memos during meetings. I invested time to make sure I got good at that and became the person who spoke and handed out notes during meetings. This gave me access to the top people as well as having important information pass through me first.
You want the flexibility of being able to do grunt work and the technical aspects.
Connect everyone
The stupidest thing I did was think that connecting influential people with others would be affecting my status and job negatively. Introducing a smarter person, would somehow downplay me and affect my career aspirations.
I was a gatekeeper in the worst of ways. In fact, whenever I connected people together, it would be a blessing for me down the road. Whether it was days or years later, things would work in my favor if I focused on helping people.
One of the easiest things you can do in college is to find smart people and connect them with other smart people. Don’t even worry about if they thank you or not. Find out what they need help with and find someone who can help solve that problem.
So if you have no technical skills yet, start building relationships and that’s how you start to build a reputation as the “connector”. People will start to associate with you and you’ll start to build your own path to network.
Just make sure you ask permission if you do connect people together. People’s time is so precious, and what’s just as important is their consent.
I remembered emailing someone to connect them with another person, and I got an immediate phone call asking why I CC them on the email. Turns out, this person didn’t like the other person because they were pestering them to meet up and “pick their brain”. Again, the theme of mutual benefits comes into play. I think if willing, picking someone’s brain is fine if they agree to it. Otherwise, it’s rude to the other person.
Integrity First
If you’re like me and learn these lessons late, just make sure you try your absolute best to do things the right way. It’s probably better to do nothing than to do something unethical. That will follow you for the rest of your life.
Even if you didn’t get to network with lots of people in college or build the skills to have a mutually beneficial relationship, still be respectful and consistently improve.
Professionals will see that and the reputation of integrity will follow. Remember that your career will be ongoing after college, so it’s best to think long-term and make decisions that will help you in the future.
Don’t be like college me and not care about building relationships. They’re the bedrock of what makes not only professional aspects great, but also your personal life.
Networking does suck if you’re young, but it doesn’t have to suck for long.
Check out my last article on Not asking hurts everyone*
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